


Broken Promises

by Kerr2408



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:47:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25403320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kerr2408/pseuds/Kerr2408
Summary: On board the Valiant, as he held the corpse of his friend, the Doctor made a promise to himself, this would be his last regeneration.
Kudos: 2





	Broken Promises

On board the valiant, as he held the corpse of his friend, the Doctor made a promise to himself-this was to be his last regeneration.

He had said the same thing with his previous regeneration, when he believed that he was the last of the Time Lords. He thought it wasn't fair to keep living when everyone else in his species had died by his hand. So, he made a promise that he would try to right as many wrongs as he could until someone or something caught him and then he would let his kind go extinct. The way it should have when he activated the Moment. The way he had expected it to. (And Rassilon, was that a shock to the system, waking up in what he thought was an afterlife only to realise that the Moment hadn't taken him).

He really did mean to go through with that promise but then, he met Rose. Despite knowing that he shouldn't and despite knowing what happens to the people he travels with, he invited her onto the Tardis. He was too weak not to.

She said yes. Of course she said yes. Most humans do say yes when offered any place in space and time. They never think about all the risks-or maybe he's not explaining the risks well enough.

They traveled the stars together. They went to the end of the Earth, to 1945 and to news stations. He introduced her to Shakespeare and her father and she made all the pain he was feeling a bit more bearable. She shouldn't have. The pain and grief was supposed to be his punishment. Maybe that's why the Daleks lived, maybe the universe was angry that he was slowly opening up to happiness again after the war. The war that the Daleks won in the end. All the Time Lords were dead-apart from him-and the Daleks were still in their hundreds.

He killed them all for nothing. 15 billion Time Lords. 2.47 billion children.

When the time did come to fulfil his promise he backed out. He could say that it was for entirely unselfish reasons. That it was because he needed to stay alive to bring Rose back home. However, he would be lying. He could have refused to regenerate and still had time to drop her back on Earth, but he was weak. He wasn't ready to join his species on the other side yet. He wasn't ready to leave her.

He should have left her. He shouldn't have asked her along in the first place. Now she's in a different dimension. She has her parents, but she's still in another universe where everyone else she knew isn’t even aware of her existence.

He broke his promise and decided to leave it broken. Rose gave him back the joy of travelling, reminded him why he had invited so many people into his blue box. Even though she was no longer with him, she gave him hope and allowed him to entertain the idea that maybe he isn't a monster.

The grief was still there. He knew it would never leave. It would continue to slam against his chest like a third heart. No matter how many friends he made, no matter how much he loved Martha; Jack and even Mickey, he would always be alone. The Doctor would always be the last of his kind, the murderer of his entire species-including his own family, his own children.

Except for the Master.

Realising that the Master was alive should have worried him. After all, the Master has nearly as much blood on his hands as the Doctor, maybe more. However, the Doctor was weak, and he missed his friend. He wasn't alone any more, he never had been. There was another Time Lord. A psychotic Time Lord, but they were all a bit like that. Even as he realised how dangerous the Master's latest plan was, ideas spun around his head of the two of them flying around in the Tardis. They could have traveled to every planet they learnt about in school. They could have gone on all the adventures that they had planned out as kids. He might of had to leave Martha behind, but he would come back to her eventually-once the Master got his anger under control and got help for the drumming he heard. They could have tried to construct a loom together and rebuild their species. They could have raised a generation of Time Lords that weren't afraid to leave behind tradition to do what's right.

That didn't happen. The Doctor should have known to not get carried away with his fantasies.

The Master refused to regenerate and another hole was ripped into one of the Doctors hearts. He felt like he was losing everything all over again. The Master may have been a murderer and perhaps it's wrong for the Doctor to still care for him, but they were still best friends once. The Master was still the boy that had run alongside the Doctor when they were hiding from bullies. He was still the first person to truly listen to the Doctor and his mad ideas. He was still the Doctor's first and longest-lasting love.

So, on that day, the Doctor made a promise. He would join the rest of his species at the end of this incarnation. Maybe, the universe would be better off with no Time Lords. Maybe one day a new species will gain their regeneration and time travelling technology. Hopefully, they'll use it better.

The universe didn't seem to know what to make of his promise. The universe gave him a daughter, a family and then it took her away. The universe showed him a future he could have with Professor Song, then showed him how that future will end. The universe gave him Wilf, Wilf's granddaughter, then Wilf again and again.

The universe gave him back the Master and the Time Lords, but it also gave him back the Time War. The universe took that back to. 

He got to see the Master sacrifice himself to save him. Something he would never of even dreamed of in a thousand regenerations.

Then, it was time to make good on his promise. He expected it and it should have felt right, the universe seemed to have been egging him on by showing him the Time Lords one last time. It didn't feel right. He wanted more time before he fulfilled the promise. He had so much more to do and to see. He could have saved so many more people.

He couldn't let Wilf die.

It wasn't until he was back on the Tardis with glowing hands that he realised he had made a decision. He still wanted to see and do all of those things. He still wanted to save people. He wanted to show more people the stars. He wanted to make new friends and drop in on old ones. He wanted to get to know Professor Song and be there for Jack so that he has at least one constant in his immortal life and see the Master again because the Doctor has a feeling that that wasn't the end for him.

Would him dying do any good? He has hurt so many people, but he has also saved people. He will never be able to right the wrongs he has done, but he is learning with every companion how to be better and do more.

He was going to break his promise. Sorry universe, but you look like you still need protection. Sorry Gallifrey, but he might be able to save other planets even though he couldn't save you. Sorry, but he doesn't want to go.


End file.
